Your silence makes me hold my breath
by SelenesLegacy
Summary: Scabior thinks of his sister right after her death. Set to "Forgiven" by Within Temptation.


**Your silence makes me hold my breath**

**By: SelenesLegacy**

_The only thing I own is Brittany__ and Lily._

(SCABIOR)

Everything was so cold now. Lily was holding me as we sat by Brittany's body. "I was supposed to die tonight, not her." She stroked my hair as we both cried.

_Couldn't save you from the start_

_Love__ you so it hurts my soul_

_Can you forgive me for trying again_

_Your silence makes me hold my breath_

_Time has passed you by_

I saw her stand at the top of the stairs, she was smiling. Mom had bought her a new dress for the ball at Hogwarts. It was a deep emerald halterneck, and she was wearing mom's emerald necklace. "A picture for Gods only." She grinned shyly as I complimented her.

_Oh, for so long I've tried to shield you from the world_

_Oh, you couldn't face the freedom on your own_

_Here I am left in silence_

How could I have let this happen? After dad killed mom, everything had changed. I had to take care of them, had to help them with everything from household chores to…basically everything. Fortunately, Toby and his mom had told me that they could take care of them while I was supposed to attend the Auror academy.

_You gave up the fight, you left me behind_

_All that's done's forgiven_

_You'll always be mine, I know deep inside_

_All that's done's forgiven_

I could see her and Lily in the hallway from my cell. They were both shivering, and Toby's mom was following behind them. "Oh you stupid, stupid child!" I was pretty sure that if she'd been able to strangle me, she'd do it. "Why couldn't you just have stayed out of trouble?" I ignored her, and took the girls' hands in mine. "You two behave, you hear me? I'll be out soon, and then we can be together." They nodded and cried silently. "Have a good year at Hogwarts, and write to me everyday." Brittany wouldn't let go of my hand.

_I watched the clouds drifting away_

_Still the sun can't warm my face_

_I know it was destined to go wrong_

_You were looking for the great escape_

_To chase your demons away_

"Dearest Alexander." I'd received letters from them every week the last two years, but this one seemed particularly important. "I received my acceptance letter from the Auror academy this week, and they want me there at the 1st of September! It's such a bad timing, because I wanted to be at King's Cross when Lily leaves for the start of the term! But I guess I just have to be there, I've followed her around at Hogwarts for the last year, I believe that will be enough "

"I hope they treat you tolerably over there. Everyday is dreadful without you. I've had to comfort Lily several nights now; she claims she dreams about you being dragged into Azkaban by dementors, and are given the kiss right afterwards.

Miss you terribly,

Brittany."

_Oh, for so long I've tried to shield you from the world_

_Oh, you couldn't face the freedom on your own_

_And here I am left in silence_

Her letters grew darker and more depressed during the next weeks. Lily was failing her subjects, and there was a boy who couldn't keep away from her. I wrote to her and said that she should keep her spirits up. "Remember what mom used to say. All good things come to those who are patient about them." It was a recurring thing in the letters between us.

_You gave up the fight, you left me behind_

_All that's done's forgiven_

_You'll always be mine, I know deep inside_

_All that's done's forgiven_

Toby's mother sent me a letter where she told me that Brittany, Toby and Lily had sent a letter to the ministry where they'd demanded a new investigation and trial for my case. Crouch and Fudge had rejected their demands the moment they received the letter, and they'd apparently been searching for ways to kill him without being caught. I felt sorry for the effort they'd put in it, even the thought someone doing that for me was quite touching.

_I've been so lost since you've gone_

_Why not me before you? Why did fate deceive me?_

_Everything turned out so wrong_

_Why did you leave me in silence?_

Seeing her on that stretcher had destroyed something inside me. Something I knew never could be repaired or replaced. Lily took my hand and squeezed it. "It's just us now." Her words shattered me once more, yet I had to acknowledge the truth in them. "We have to fight now, we have to stay alive. Think of Emma. She needs you." Not even the thought of her could help me now.

_You gave up the fight_

_You left me behind_

_All that's done's forgiven_

_You'll always be mine, I know deep inside_

_All that's done's forgiven_

Lily kissed her forehead. "Don't worry big sis, Alex and I are going to take care of Rowle." I almost expected her to just jump up and scream: "SURPRISE!" But she didn't. She laid there, pale and perfect as an angel. "Don't worry Britt, Lils and I've got everything under control."

We watched as Trelawney put a sheet over her, and gave us her condolences. "I'm so sincerely sorry for your loss." She left us to our own business. "Rest in peace Brittany Annabelle McCulloch, the bravest witch we both knew." Lily gave me her hand, and we went outside.

**;_; I have never cried so much while writing a fic. Doing this just broke my heart in a billion pieces!**


End file.
